Why Dale Carnegie is Relevant

Since it was published in 1937, Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold over 15 million copies. As one of the first true ‘self-help’ books, it encouraged readers to become altruistic and interested in others rather than themselves. Carnegie claims that there are three fundamental ways in life to handle people. These are:

1. Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
2.  Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

However, although we believe we follow these principles intuitively, when have we ever really gone through a whole day without criticising others before ourselves? When was the last time you gave someone sincere appreciation for something? It seems that we take Carnegie’s points for granted.

In Generation Me, Jean Twenge shows a rising trend of anxiety in America. In 2006, two-thirds of college students scored above what had been the average narcissism score in 1982. This means that people are growing in false self esteem. We are more likely to protect our ‘self’ through defensive mechanisms and deny any weaknesses we may have. People with a high sense of false self esteem tend to be more insensitive to others and less able to take criticism.

This rise of anxiety (and narcissism) is shown to relate to a country’s level of inequality. In The Spirit Level, Wilkinson and Pickett state that: “Greater inequality seems to heighten people’s social evaluation anxieties by increasing the importance of social status”. This means that in an unequal society, we perceive ourselves to be more superior to others when we are of higher social status than them. Social position gradually becomes the defining feature of one’s identity – especially when we meet someone for the first time. In an unequal society, we assess others based on their social status rather than accepting each other as equals. Furthermore, because of our narcissistic tendencies, we will ‘big ourselves up’ and believe we’re better than anyone else.

Practically this makes Carnegie’s advice even the more important to follow in everyday life. We live in a society where greater material success develops greater social failure. Although we are earning more income than ever before, we are less happy and more insecure. Some say that Carnegie’s advice is relevant only during it’s time of publication – the Great Depression. Perhaps it’s promotion of modesty and self-deprecation is the way to eliminate inequality and improve society for everyone.